Reuel E. Topas / The Jewish Press / May 4, 2005
Once upon a time, in the land called "West Bank," there lived a Wolf named Yasir Arafat, leader of the Palestinian Wolf Authority (PWA), an umbrella organization representing Wolf packs known as Fatah, PLO, Hamas, Islamic Jihad, Hizbullah, Al-Aqsa Martyr's Brigade and others
Under Yasir's guidance, the PWA held press conferences in which the PWA spokesman would cry Sheep! We're Sheep! Trust me when I tell you we're sheeeeep. S-H-E-E-P, I tell you, is what we are. A few baaa's were thrown in for added effect, with promises of friendship, and no more attacks on the neighboring flock of actual sheep, known as "the Jews."
Each PWA press conference was met with frenzied excitement and praise from European governments, the U.S. State Department, the UN and the media. After each and every press conference, the Jews, organized into a supposed protective agency called "Israel," virtually leapt in response, easing restrictions on travel for Wolves, suspending anti-Wolf operations, releasing Wolf prisoners as gestures of good will and in general welcoming the "new" sheepish PWA attitude. And, like German clockwork in the 1940`s, after each and every PWA announcement and Israeli response, the PWA Wolf packs continued to murder Jews at every opportunity, following the primordial habit of Wolves.
Still, no matter how many Jews were killed, and no matter how many times this cycle of PWA treachery repeated itself, Israel came running to the sound of each new PWA cry of "SHEEP" - as if the PWA wasn't actually a wolf. And each time the Wolf acted like a Wolf, more Jews died in this tragic tale of tenacious idiocy. The formerly frenzied media sadly lamented the "cycle of violence," which, of course was no cycle at all; rather, some Palestinian Wolves died because they were trying to kill Jews and Jews continued dying for believing the Wolves had magically become sheep because they said so in their press conferences.
Now, head Wolf Yasir died and was replaced by a new head Wolf named Abu Mazen. This new head Wolf dressed in nice sheepish suits and really knew how to baaaa convincingly. He was very smart and held press conferences during which he said, "Pay no attention to these fangs" and "Claws? What claws?" and "That little old Jihad howl just means political struggle for grazing rights. See, I'm just a fuzzy little lamb."
And Israel, actually the village idiot in this fairy tale, ran back to the Wolf every time, pulled sheep's wool over its own eyes and continued to get its sheep senselessly murdered, instead of hunting down the Wolf relentlessly until there was nothing left in the PWA except real sheep with no fangs or claws or dreams of Jihad, who truly just wanted to graze in peace with the Jews.
The Wolves who cried sheep could hardly believe that Israel would fall for it so consistently and how the leadership of Israel never seemed ready to accept that the Wolf really was a Wolf, no matter how many times he cried sheep and no matter how many times he proved his wolfhood with the blood of yet more dead and horribly maimed Jews.
Unfortunately, dear reader, this is no fairy tale. This moral of this true tale is: The Wolf really is a Wolf. The claws, the fangs and the howl are real. The Wolf does, and will always do, what a Wolf does, which is eat sheep. It is time for the sheep to put on its Wolves's clothing and wipe out the Wolf pack. When real sheep come forward from the other side, Israel can graze peacefully with them. And then everyone can live happily ever after.
Reuel E. Topas is an attorney in solo practice in Lakewood, New Jersey.